My Testimony of Love pt. 3

If you've not yet read part 1 and part 2, you can read them HERE and HERE.

By the time I was 16yrs old and had been through a couple heart-breaks, I decided it was time to get serious about what I was looking for when I looked for "love" and companionship. I read an article in what was the Focus on the Family's BRIO & BEYOND magazine (now online HERE) about a woman who made a list of things she wated in a future husband. The young woman talked about how she prayed for the things on her list and prayed about the things that were important to her. Then while in college, I met a woman who was married and had done the same thing a teenager. At the time she was doing it for her youth leaders pleasure--putting down all the "good" things. Little did she know that the man she married would fill her list of 10 things until her old youth leader read it out loud at her wedding, surprising everyone, including her. So, when I was 16, I made my list. I added to it over the next couple years and prayed over it. I decided that I was going to really put my faith in God and not compromise my list--except for 2 that were compromisable to me: drinks coffee and can fix and build things. Those were not as important to me as a man's character.

In college I met boys I liked, staying guarded of my heart, until I got to know them better and realized they didn't value me for me or purity. It was my desire and heart to remain a virgin and pure until I was married. I recall once telling some guys that I was a virgin and proud of it after they made comments about me being a "party" girl. They were assuming I was nice on the outside and "wild" in secret. I was proud to tell them that was far from true. There was one guy I met in college who shared a mutual "crush" with me, but that didn't go beyond friends. I was sad, but kept praying. I settled for the idea that meeting "Mr. Right" wasn't going to happen at the junior college and would have to wait until I transferred to a Christian college for my B.A. degree. At least that's what I thought...

When I met Brandon he was new and shy. It was move-in day for the new residents on-campus and I was an R.A. (Resident Assistant) on the 3rd floor of one building. I was welcoming students on my own floor and those on the second floor. I was looking out over the balcony of my floor and saw a young man with a baseball hat on, a vest (or jacket...don't recall now), and shorts. When I asked him his name and where he was from he peered at me just enough to see me past the brim of his hat, "Brandon...New Hampshire." Shocked he'd come to a small school so far from home, I asked him "how did you find out about MVCC?" He told me he'd have to tell me later and that he had to go. With that, he left quickly; leaving me intrigued of him.

I randomly saw him around campus. There was a week that seemed like everywhere I was, he was. I recall choosing to go a different direction across campus one day just because I had already passed him once and was afraid he'd think I was stalking him. Towards the end of that first semester in 2004, I began to spend more time out on the floor with residents and had more of a chance to talk to him. I think I did most of the talking!! Trust me when I say that I can talk! (Side note: Brandon has helped me learn to listen more)

We spent a lot of time talking late at night on the second floor lounge. When the semester was over I recall going to look for him, but he had already gone home on winter break. I was really sad because I didn't get to say good-bye. Please know that at this time I had no desire to be more than friends with him. I was just so excited to have met another believer on-campus; even better was that he was in my building.

When he returned for the spring semester, we started spending a lot more time together. We would meet up at the cafeteria or dininghall (sometimes on purpose and other times by chance). I started going to his lacrosse games and holding up signs to cheer him and the team on. I recall the first practice I went to watch. He must have dropped the first 5 passes after I got there. I could tell he was nervous. Suddenly this quiet guy was talking to me, showing interest in me, and interest in the possibility of a future. We talked about marriage & knew we both liked the idea. We spent the next year getting to know one another more and spending as much time together as we could. We prayed together, went to church together, and worked out together. It wasn't until we'd spent some time together that I found out he had no intentions of getting married until he met me. Even his family will testify to that. It's quite profound to me.

Meeting Brandon was unexpected and I was at a place that I had grown tired of seeking out potential husbands. I was at a low place in my Christian walk and was so hurt inside that I didn't know what to do with myself. Brandon was a friend, an ear, an encouragement to me in a way that only God knew I needed. As my relationship with God grew, so did my relationship with Brandon.

After asking for my father's permission for my hand in marriage, on the day before Memorial Day 2006, Brandon asked me to marry him by my parents pond. The funniest part about it was that my mother kept calling while he was trying to ask me! Yes, we turned the cell phone off. We prayed with our parents after I accepted his proposal and my parents announced it to everyone who was there for the cook-out.

We were married by a Justice of the Peace in November 2006. With numerous changes in details and the influence of the Army, we moved our ceremony from June '07 to Dec '06. We moved to Texas in February 2007 to start our new marriage and our journey in the Army. I was so glad to have married the man that I did. Before getting married, I went back to re-read my list of things I desired in a man (about 42-45 of them) and realized that Brandon was all of them except the one's I was willing to compromise on (see above). God had truly given me the desires of my heart in a husband. I was so grateful!

He can do it for you too! Make your list, pray, and give it to God. He knows what you need more than you do. A list is a great way to keep yourself focused an not to just settle for something or for anyone. I shared about my list with a friend in college, who then went and made a list of her own. She is no engaged to be married within the next year to a man who filled everything on her list that she made, prayed over, and stayed faithful to. God is good & he is faithful. He knows what we need and what we want. If you are faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you.

For any help or suggestions about what things to put, just ask your mom, grandmother, other women you look up to, or myself. I would be glad to share some of the things on my list to you. Put the most important things first, be specific (don't just write "kind", write what you mean by "kind")!!

Romans 12:12 (KJV)  "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;"

Romans 12:12 (NIV)  "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

My Testimony of Love pt.2

In middle school it was various boys I saw at the local public school while I was wating for the bus to my private school. Or it was boys I saw around the baseball fields where my brother played little league. Other times it was boys I met a youth group events who went to other churches. I always liked the outgoing ones who might've been a little on the "crazy" side. I recall once giving my contact information to a boy I saw (never met) at a church my family visited.

"WHAT?!," you might be thinking. Why would I do such a thing? We were camping several hours away from our home where I saw him. The odd thing is that I never even "met" him or introduced myself. I had noticed him as we entered the building and we sat a couple rows behind him. I think I was around 14-16yrs. That's just a guess. It was actually my father who gave the boy my contact information because I was too scared to do it myself. Strange? Not for my dad. I believe the idea was that this unknown boy would never really contact me.

I was a boy-crazy girl growing up. My parents had their hands full. I remember "dating" people in secret where it consisted of sitting next to one another, saying "this is MY boyfriend/girlfriend", passing notes, and maybe holding hands. I "dated" the son of my uncle's girlfriend when I was only 10 or 11yrs old. I had a BIG crush on him! I even "dated" a guy in highschool when I was 14yrs old for about 7-9months. That was just a pass notes and hold hands type of relationship. I look back now and laugh at how silly it was, but at the time it was my heart that had those feelings. Then I had "feelings" for a guy in my youth group when I was 15-16yrs old. He was by far the best guy I'd come across up to that point in my life, but even that didn't last long at all. Oh, on and on I could go, but I am tired of just trying to recall all my past crushes.

I did not protect my heart. I didn't fully wear it on my sleeve, but I was willing to. If someone I had feelings for would show interest in me, then I wore my heart on my sleeve and held it in my hand; offering it to them if they wanted it. The odd thing is that no one wanted it. About 80% of the guys I liked never liked me back. Of the guys that liked me, I was only interested in about 5% of them. Up until highschool, the feelings came and went as quickly as the next day came. At least that's how it seems when I look back on it.

The whole time I was on a search for "love". I wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel cared about. I especially wanted to be liked. I was never popular, I didn't have a lot of friends (even though I knew a lot of people). I didn't go to the public school so I was picked on a lot. That always hurt. I wanted so badly to be liked and loved, but was feeling more and more sad as each year went by.

Tune in for more to the story. If you've not yet read PART 1, do so soon.

My Testimony of Love

I am not sure where to start on this, so I figure I should start by sharing my testimony of finding true love. At a later date I will also share my journey of finding out who I am up to this point in my life (because this is an ever-changing thing).

There was once a little girl who grew up watching Sesame Street and listening to songs about knowing your address. She was so smart that by the time she was 4.5yrs old, her parents knew she was ready to start on the journey to school. One month before turning 5, she was sent to a private Christian academy. That was the year it all started...

My mother has told me that in my kindergarten year of school I thought I was going to marry the only boy (and only other child) in my grade. Looking back upon it now, I laugh and think "how cute"; however, I see how the desire for marriage and love was within me so early on. I do recall liking that boy, but I don't remember him in my school beyond that year. As with most young crushes, it passed and faded away. Within the same year or the year to follow my affection fell upon another boy. But he was older, he was taller, he was nicer. Yes, I had a crush on a high schooler. I was so young at that point that I felt safer sitting with him on a very full, long bus ride from school to home. I remember my first few weeks of school when I would get onto the already busy bus, pick an empty seat and bury my face between the window and the seatback in front of me. It broke my heart to leave home and I was scared by so many big kids that I didn't know. The high schooler was someone who I knew from my own school so that made me comfortable. However, I did have a crush on him.

By now you might be thinking "oh dear, how cute. She was so young." I must have been like a lioness stalking her prey; with each miss she hunts again until she finally catches some food. Well, all that's cute, but that wasn't the end. After that high schooler left my school and was no longer sharing the bus ride home with me, I remember having a crush on someone in my parent's youth group. I was a little older by then, but the journey continued. On and on it went for me; one crush after another.

Tune in for more of the story. Read PART 2 also.