Preparing to be a Help Meet Chapter 5--The King

Read Chapter 4

Chapter Summary
"Kingly men see life as if htey were on a high mountain; they look at the big picture, rather than individual, personal needs." They show little tolerance for those around them who drag their feet, make excuses, or whine about their lot in life. They want to move forward and they have a plan. They usually are people in authority over other people. They typically expect to be waited on hand and foot. When treated with honor and reverence, he will be wonderfully protective and supportive. Most times, the strife is not because the man is cruel or evil, but because he expects obedience, honor, reverence, and he is not getting it. So, he reacts badly.

"His wife must be prepared to give him honor and reverence on a daily basis if she wants him to be a benevolent, honest, strong, and fulfilled man of God." Before marriage, she needs to practice being in subjection to those in authority over her, to practice serving daily with a cheerful heart, look for ways to serve her family, and look for ways to serve within the body of believers (not the fun jobs, but the ones that everyone else passes over). LEARN TO SERVE WITH JOY. "You could be a blessing or a curse to many people by how you relate to your Command Man."

"In subjection" means to put under or subdue to be in obedience, submitting oneself to another; to be enclosed or shut up in one place; to be bound by the law. This phrase also translates to: submit, subject, submitting, obey, obedient, obedience, put under, and subdue.


Moral of the Story
The wife to a King must learn to serve him with honor.

Caution
Don't be offended at his lack of serving or helping you in teh mundane things of life.

Your Treasure Chest
*  If you marry a King, you will need to keep in mind that he is not trying to lord over you...he is just in the image of a supreme leader.
*  Write a committment letter to your King, explaining to yourself the potential problem of having difficulty submitting to your dominant man and how you will respont to it when it arises. Make some real committments!

My Challenge to You
*  Is it God's will for a wife to submit to her husband? Should a wife seek understanding from God before she obeys her husband? If a pastor tells a woman to do one thing and her husband tells her to do another, who should she obey?
*  Read the scriptures about submitting:

• Philippians 3:21
• Colossians 3:18
• Titus 2:5,9 and 3:1
• Hebrews 12:9
• James 4:7
• 1 Peter 2:13-18
• 1 Peter 3:1,5,22
• 1 Peter 5:5
• 1 Timothy 2:11 and 3:4

The next 3 chapter summaries will be about 3 different types of women. Any thoughts on what they might be or the type of women to be described?? Stay tuned & I will do it as soon as I can.

Preparing to Be a Help Meet Chapter 4--The Priest

Read Chapter 1. Read Chapter 3.

Chapter Summary

The Priestly type is the most steady of all 3 types of men. He doesn't make snap decisions or tell other people what to do. As a general rule, he will be faithful until the day he dies in the same bed he has slept in since marriage. "This man is content with the wife of his youth." He will not put undue pressure on you, there will be no emotional fires to put out, and you will rarely feel hurried or pressured. The downside is that it can bring about irritation in a woman needing a little adventure to spice up life. Everyone will like him, they will not feel judged, and he will like having people in his home.

A good wife for this type of man will make her home a pleasant place for visitors, she will learn to cook for groups, and her gracious hosting will bring her husband honor. She must be caution not to judge him as being unspiritual because he "lacks fervent religious expression". She will need to be patient for him to make up his mind. Learn how to stand still & listen. She will need to take initiative and be involved in business; walking beside her husband rather than following behind like a Prophet- or Kingly-type. But know this, you are to walk BESIDE your man and NOT to be dominant over him.

"YOU WILL NOT BRING TO MARRIAGE ALL THE SKILLS NECESSARY TO MAKE IT INTO A FAIRYTALE COME TRUE. YOU MUST BE HUMBLE ENOUGH TO BEND AND MERGE INTO THE NEW IDENTITY. WHEN YOU COME TO UNDERSTAND MEND AS GOD CREATED THEM TO BE, YOU WILL NOT WASTE YOUR MARRIAGE TRYING TO CHANGE YOU NEW HUSBAND INTO WHAT YOU THINK HE SHOULD BE."

Quote from book commenter: "...Notice how fairy tales are never about marriage; they're always about whirlwind romantic courtships. They cover a few years, and then conclude with an "ever after" that, in reality, lasts ten times longer than the fairytale did. Fairy tales are very poor indeed at equipping a girl for a marriage that will compromise most of her years."

"The key is to know your man." So what can you do now to prepare? Learn how to pay bills, make appointments, and entertain guests. Have hobbies that are useful things to learn in managing a home & children. Be busy and productive. Seek Wisdom (Proverbs 111:10; Proverbs 4:7; James 1:5)!!

Moral to the Story
The wife of a Prophet-type needs to be as active helping others as her husband is. This will bring him honor.

A Caution
A Priest's desire is to please. Your impatience or unthanfulness can destroy his vision for serving others, as well as destroy your health.

Your Treasure Chest
*  What are some of the things you need to be studying?
*  Write in your notebook a list of things you are committing to learn in order to be a better help meet to a Priest.

My Challenge to You
*  What idle thing to do you do more than one time per week? Examples: excessive reading, standing in front of the mirror, eating, sitting at the computer, chatting / gossiping with friends, or excessive exercise.
*  Do you know any man who is very much like this Priestly-type?
*  Is your dad Priestly? If so, what could you do as a daughter that would please him?
*  What are some other qualities you think a Prisetly type would want to have in his wife?
*  Read these scriptures to see what God says about idleness and slothfulness (a.k.a "lazy"):

• Proverbs 19:15--slothfulness
• Ecclesiastes 10:18--idle
• 1 Timothy 5:13--idleness
• Proverbs 31:27--idelness
• Ezekiel 16:49--idleness
• Romans 12:9-21--slothful
• Hebrews 6:9-12--slothful

*  What are you doing today to learn skills for the future?
*  If you could do anything every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?


Read Chapter 5

Beauty is not just about appearance

There's more to life than how your hair looks, whether or not you wear make-up, who your friends are, how you dress, and where you hang out. These things do effect your life because it is iimportant to take care of yourself. But for a person to care about how they look to attract particular friends, boyfriend, etc. is a hinderance for quality relationships.

Our physical appearance is important for health & well-being. Strive to be healthy inside (what you eat) and out (personal hygiene). Just know that the goal should not be to "look good", but to be healthy. So the question is really "What is your goal?" What is your heart?

For the girl who spends 2hrs prepping and pampering herself before leaving the house each day, I would ask, who is it for? To spend that much time on how a person looks, it must be for someone to "ooh" and "aah" at her. What about the girl who rolls out of bed and barely combs her hair (or not at all) before going out the door? I would ask, do you care to care for yourself at all? There must be a good balance between these two girls! It's never a good thing to pamper yourself up for others to compliment you, but it's never a good thing to do nothing with yourself either.

So, where is the heart in it all? Ask yourself, why am I doing this?? Why am I spending too much/too little time on my appearance? How can I aim for a healthy appearance and balance?

Colossians 3:2 says "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth."

1 Peter 1:13 says "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."

The world's way is to be so focused on yourself and your appearance that you miss the Lord's blessings all around you. Those blessings might be a sincere friendship, a God-focused love relationship, strengthening your relationship with God, building family relationships, having a focus on life that is not all about "drama", and growing stronger health every day. Satan would love for nothing more than you to be distracted from your relationship with God and God-focused people. If he can distract you from the most meaningful things that a person can have in their lives, then he will keep you further from God. Luke 21:8a says "And he said, 'See that you are not led astray...'”

Maybe the real question to ask is: How much time do you spend reading the Bible and praying vs. the amount of time you spend on your hair, nails, makeup, and picking out "the perfect outfit"? Are you distracted from God by school, your social life, your appearance, or ___(you fill in the blank)___??

Matthew 6:33 says "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness..."

Psalm 16:8-11 says "I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

God created you and wants you to believe you are beautiful, but that you know you are more beautiful inward than outward. 1 Samuel 16:7 says "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

May we be like David when he said "I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart." (Psalm 40:8) Let our focus be heavenward! Let our motivation be heavenward! Let our appearance be a reflection of God and His love for us!

Go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ and search "the heart", you will be amazed at the results. Read some of them and allow God to shape your heart to be more like His.

Proverbs 31:30 says "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Quote by Edwin Way Teale

For the mind disturbed, the still beauty of dawn is nature's finest balm.


- Edwin Way Teale