Preparing to Be a Help Meet Chapter 2

Read Chapter 1 summary. Book Giveaway!

Chapter 2 Summary

This chapter starts off with the question "How will I know whom God wants me to marry?" It then goes on and tells the story of a young woman, Lydia. She was 23yrs old when she began to wonder if she'd ever marry. In the meantime, she kept busy working at several youth camps; until one day her father told her that a young man asked to court her--a man she would have NEVER guessed. She was not into the idea but agreed to give it a chance after her father's gentle persuasion. She had questions about how a girls is supposed to fall in love & marry & live happily-ever-after, especially to a stranger. She spent time fastin & praying about this young man who was seeking her out as a potential lifetime mate. She sought out the advice of her parents and woman who had mentored her several other times.

Proverbs 11:14 says "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."


Proverbs 15:22 says "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the mulitude of counselors they are established."

{What did she decide? I will let you find out when you read the book for yourself. If you or a relative cannot afford a copy of the book, then please email me and I will be glad to send you one.}

This chapter also tells a bit of the young man, Billy, who asked to court Lydia. There are lots of commentaries by single and one married man about this chapter.

One of the commentaries says "Yes, it is good for a young, unmarried girl who is out of school to be involved in ministry. She should be investing her time in worthy activities (long-term rewards) and not spending too much time just hanging out with friends (short-term rewards)."

Another one says "The nature of someone's speech tells a lot about them and where their life is headed. There are distinct differenes in the speach of a person who directs their life (proactve/wise) and someone who lets their life direct them (reactive/foolish). The reactive individual talks of wishes and hopes whereas a proactive individual talks of plans with difinitive action. The reactive individual talks of people, things, gossip, and "tabloid" news whereas a proactive individual talks about concepts, opportunities and meaningful current events... The book of Janes equates the tongue to the helm and rudder of a great ship or a horse's bit. The way it directs, the rest follows (James 3:1-2)... What subjects fill your conversations?"

A great tool is the list of how Lydia approached knowing God's will for the courtship and the list of how Billy understood God's direction regarding a mate. It gives a bit of "do's" for a person who likes specifics. The chapter also gives a list of how a girl can find direction regarding whom God would have her to marry. Here are a few:

• She honors God in her youth.
• She shows herself hardwoking and willing to be a good wife.
• She prays for those in authority over her so that they will be watching for any young man who might make a good match.
• She watches for an opportunity to serve.

The chapter describes the courage, loyalty, and faithfulness of the only women in the bible who have books named after them--Ruth and Esther.

Another commentator says "Search the Word of God and you will discover it never says God will tell you whom you are to marry nor that He'll confirm your decision. He's outlined the character qualities of a godly man and promises wisdom to those who ask, but it is your life and your choice... If you want to know what "God's Will" is, read the Bible because the Bible is the written record of God's Will to man... Read James 4:13-15 and note it is not wrong to have plans, only to have them and not give place for the intervention of God..."

Moral to the Story: God often lead us down his path through the counsel of those who are wiser

A Caution: Stubbornness can wreck your life. High-mindedness can leave you a high and dry old maid.

Your Treasure Chest
* Are you willing to seek wise counsel?
* Will you be open when it is given?
* Make a written Commitment now!

My Challenge to you:
* Why do you think Billy chose Lydia out of all the other girls he might have known or thought were "pretty"?
* Would you prefer to marry a man ten years older or five years younger than yourself? Why?
* Can stubbornness cause us to miss God's will and maybe even God's man for us?
* How does a girl know the will of God concerning the person she is to marry?

* If a good, Godly man came knocking on your door, are there things you would not watn him to see about you right away?
* Guys are watching you all the time to see what kind of girl you are. You can be watching guys also to see what kind of guys they are.
* We are called by God to walk in righteousness.
* Do a word study on the subject of "Conversation".
* Look up these verses:

• 1 Corinthians 7:34
• Proverbs 11:14 and 12:15
• Proverbs 31:10-31
• James 1:5
• 1 Timothy 2:2
• Colossians 1:11, Romans 5:3-4 and 8:25
• Galatians 5:13
• Proverbs 19:20-21
• Proverbs 3:1-6 

For my next 3 postings, I will be summarizing chapters written about 3 different types of men and which type might best compliment you. After reading the next few summaries, you might not know which type best compliments you and that is OK! This is where wise counsel and time come into play.

Read Chapter 3